Day One

I am a 29year old female with sickle cell anemia who is beginning to doubt what the world has told me about life. That is the American dream is available to anyone who works hard and is determined. For goodness sake I'm 29 and I have flunked out of school community college two semesters in a row! If that isn't enough to make me doubt myself I can just think about the past 10 yeas have gone. Maybe I'm stupid to have fallen for the Sex and City lifestyle I covet so dearly. It's not the sex I want (not that I don't miss it, because I've been celibate for 4 years now) it's the freedom. The feeling of being in control over your own destiny, the great adventures that seem to be happening to everyone but me. I want what most of us want; joy, but freedom is what seems to allude me. I feel trapped in these circumstances. I want a job I enjoy, to travel, and to have an awesome wardrobe. Is that too much to ask for? It seems like such a simple dream. My greatest dream is to be educated, well read, maybe even sophisticated. How do I get hold of my dreams? Should I give up on a college education that seems far beyond my grasp?